Welcome and thank you for joining us.
This training will include a Question & Answer period at the end of the program, so please make note of questions you may have as they come up during the seminar.
knowing something…is still a long way from doing! And if we don’t take action to do…we may as well forget that we know! Conscious Dating is a doorway that can lead you to finding an extraordinary love. Many of you see the door is open…the question is…will you take action and step through it?
Understanding how adults learn gives us insights into why many may have difficulty walking through this figurative door.
1. Adults tend to prefer self-direction. That means we want to participate in the process of inquiry, analysis, and decision-making rather than just receiving knowledge.
2. Adults learn and retain information more easily if they can relate it to their past experiences. Sharing those experiences through discussions, problem solving exercises or an analysis of those experiences helps anchor the learning process.
3. Adults are aware of specific learning needs generated by real-life events. In other words…we know what we need to learn and we know what we don’t know!
4. Adults are competency-based learners, meaning that we want to learn a skill or acquire knowledge that we can apply to our immediate circumstances. We learn through practical application of theory. Asking, how can this new learning work for me?
So how we learn as adults, tells us a great deal about why, when we read about these great concepts, like Conscious Dating, we have difficulty translating that knowledge into our daily lives and really living it.
CONCEPT OF STRUCTURED PROGRAM
In my experience the best way to incorporate Conscious Dating into your life so that you actually apply the concepts to finding your soul mate, is to be guided through a structured program: One that engages you to participate and gives you an opportunity to share with other singles.
As someone who has personally trained and coached hundreds of singles using the “Conscious Dating” principles I want to share my insights about how to clear all the obstacles in your path and find your way through that door to the most wonderful relationship of your life. And believe me when I say that every week I receive at least one email from one of my single clients who shares their relationship success story with me.
Getting into a Conscious Dating mindset is really a 2 step process. Step one, which is tonight’s topic is all about getting Ready! Step 2 is about attracting your ideal mate. And frankly unless you are ‘ready’, you won’t be able to attract your ideal partner.
I can hear some of you saying“Why do I need to Get Ready? I’m single…how much more ready can I be for a relationship?”
Well, let’s talk about what it means to be ready and a good place to start is the Relationship Readiness Quiz for Singles that , upon request, can forward to you.
This Quiz has 10 questions that will help you ascertain your level of readiness for love…now I am not talking about short term love…passing the time love…I am talking about the real deal: a love that is deep, long lasting and fulfilling because both partners are compatible and share the same life vision and goals.
If that is the type of love you want…then you are on the right call!
Back to the Quiz…Rate your self using a scale of 0-10, with 10 being the highest score. Let’s go through it one item at a time and at the end…score yourself for relationship readiness.
1. I know what I want -I have a clear vision for my life and relationship. I can envision my perfect life in rich detail that feels strong, very real, and keeps me motivated.
Do you know that most people don’t have a life vision? In fact many people sleepwalk through life because they are so stressed and distracted that they actually shut down on an emotional level. They don’t know what is really important in their lives…and because of that time escapes them…with one month rolling into another.
Do you have any idea how many single men and women I meet in their mid 40s who want to have children? And sadly most of them may never achieve this dream.
To me this is a big signal that something has gone awry. These are people, and you might be one of them…who have put their ‘life’ on the backburner…and for some of them it is too late.
It is no surprise that most of these terrific people are extremely successful in their work lives. Why wouldn’t they be? That has been their major focus for the past 20 years or so…if their ‘romantic life’ had a 10th of the attention they gave to work, their situations would be very different.
So KNOW what you want. Figure it out. As far as I know we all only have one life for certain. Don’t let half of it pass you by before you figure out what you want it to look like.
And even if you have…the good news is that what counts is what you do from here on in.
So be honest and score yourself.
2. I know my requirements - I have a written list of at least ten non-negotiable requirements that I use for screening potential partners. I am clear that if any are missing, a relationship will not work for me.
Boy…would I love to see your requirements.
What an innovative concept this is….imagine knowing what I want in a relationship…and being so crystal clear about it that if I met someone who didn’t have even one of those non-negotiable requirements…it would be a deal breaker. I would end the relationship and move on.
I often get asked in my workshops…what about compromise? Isn’t a relationship about compromise? So if a guy doesn’t have all my requirements…maybe I need to cut him some slack. He’s ‘almost’ what I want.
If you come away with only one gem from this training please let it be this:
A requirement that is not met, will ultimately cause your relationship to fail. This is unequivocal.
Let me give you an example: A man wants to have children. He meets an amazing woman who meets all of his other requirements, but she is adamant that she doesn’t like or want children. What does he do? Does he enter into a committed relationship with her hoping he can change her mind? Does he think…oh well…I have to compromise and pass up my dream vision for my life – one where I can enjoy time with my children, teach them values…have grandchildren…and so on?
In this example, if that man compromises this requirement, it will eventually come back to haunt him and he will regret the choice he made to be with this woman.
It won’t be a pretty ending.
Compromise - or finding common ground, as I like to call it - is something you do after you are in a long term committed relationship. It is part of the give and take of a loving and supportive relationship and it is NOT something a dating single should EVER contemplate!
Score yourself on this one. Do you have that all important list of your requirements and do you understand how you will deal with a situation that tests that list?
3. I am happy and successful being single -I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends, and my own company. I am living the life that I want, and I am not seeking a relationship out of desperation and need.
The more you live your life doing what you love to do…the more likelihood that you will connect with your life partner.
4. I am ready and available for commitment - I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My schedule, commitments and lifestyle allow my availability to build a new relationship.
Being ready and available for commitment includes cleaning up all the ‘stuff’ we carry around. Ask yourself: What do I want to change? What ‘baggage’ am I carrying that will hold me back from having the relationship I truly want? What behaviors do I need to modify?
What key areas of your life do you need to clean up before you will be ready for a relationship? Perhaps it’s your financial situation, your health and fitness, or emotional or mental state – this is especially true if you suffer from low self esteem or depression.
How ready are you for commitment on a scale of 0-10?
5. I am satisfied with my work/career - My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle, and does not interfere with my availability for a new relationship.
Even though this is a 2 part question…it isn’t a 2 part score. I suspect that many of you reading the first part of this question thought “oh great…finally I can score a 10!!...but did the second part lower your score?
Does your work life take precedence over your life…do you live to work or do you work to live?
6. I am healthy in mind, body, and spirit -My physical, mental, or emotional health does not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel good.
If you are not healthy you won’t feel great. So if you have issues that need to be dealt with…please do it! It is part of the getting ready process.
7. My financial and legal business is handled -I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with having the life and relationship that I want.
Take care of your business - whatever it is. If you are in the middle of a bankruptcy…this isn’t the time to be looking for a new love because your head won’t be into it. If you are separated or in the process of divorce…take the time you need to recuperate and get back into emotional balance and health.
Give yourself permission to recognize you may not be ready and allow yourself the time you need to get ready.
8. My family relationships are functional -My relationships with my children, ex, siblings, parents, and extended family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want.
Are you surrounded by happy, helpful, supportive people…or is their strife and tension in your relationships? If relations are not good, what can you do to change them? What are the attitudes or behaviors that require modification?
9. I have effective dating skills - I initiate contact with people I want to meet, and disengage from people who are not a match for me. I keep my physical and emotional boundaries, and balance my heart with my head with potential partners.
Most people find it difficult to engage strangers and this is especially true for many men who are afraid of being shot down. Many people don’t know how to keep physical and emotional boundaries…they give too much too soon, with unfortunate results.
As for balancing my head with my heart…..how do you get into a place of balance when you are attracted and infatuated with someone? Most people don’t and that’s why they come out the other end chewed up and disappointed by love.
The only sure way to navigate the mega doses of hormones are racing through your system is by staying on track with your requirements. That is the best chance anyone has to make good relationship choices….the process is called “Conscious” Dating for a reason!
10. I have effective relationship skills - I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, communicate authentically and assertively, negotiate differences positively, allow myself to trust and be vulnerable, and can give and receive love without emotional barriers.
Most people don’t have great relationship skills. And if you think about it…why would we? No one ever gave us a roadmap. We didn’t learn these things in school. But if you truly want to find the love of your life…isn’t it time to do what you need to do…learn the skills you need to build and sustain a great love relationship? Because you know…it doesn’t just happen. We need skills and tools and great relationships take effort…but boy…are they worth it!
Just like there are job and sports related skills, there are dating and relationships skills that singles need to acquire in order to be successful.
Add up your scores!
If you score 49 points or less….you need to do some work if you are serious about finding your love match.
If you scored between 50 and 70…there is still some work you need to do to become ready for the love of your life.
And if you scored between 80 and 100…well you have obviously taken the time, put in the effort to realize a goal that is very important to you…and I have no doubt you will achieve it.
If your score is low – then this is a wake up call for you. And I would be surprised if anyone on the call scored over 80. No matter how ready you thought you were half an hour ago, I suspect a number of you are reconsidering that point of view.
And I will tell you that until you are ready, you will not be able to attract the partner you truly want and deserve.
But I will tell you some good news: every one of my clients who took this Quiz again after participating in a Conscious Dating program, had a score above 80.
If you are serious about getting ready for the love of your life, thenstrongly encourage you to join our 6-week‘Conscious Dating Training for Singles’ Tele-program You can go to here to register for a free strategy discussion .We still have some spots left.
I believe that everyone deserves to have the love they desire. And I know from my experiences as a coach and trainer that your best chance of being successful in finding that love is to have the opportunity of being guided through the process of getting ready.
If you are tired of being single and are struggling with some of the points we just finished discussing ….then take your learning to the next level. Participating in a Conscious Dating training program is a life altering experience.
We have clients that have attended my Conscious Dating workshops, each have made tremendous strides in self-awareness and confidence
Remember we have a 6-week‘Conscious Dating Training for Singles’ For more information and to register, contact Akeh for a strategy discussion here.
You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me via Skype using nardinetah1 . If you have any questions about this program or would like to register.
I will be the course leader and am very excited about offering this program to you. It will be a great experience and will put you on the fast track to finding the love of your life.