Welcome and thank you for joining us for our “10 Steps for Finding Your Soul Mate.”
I’m Akeh .
In this program you discover:
- Ten steps for finding your life partner
- The "Triangle Test" to determine if you're ready for true love
- How to magnetize and attract your perfect partner
- How and when to say "No!"
- Where to find compatible partners
- And much more!
We know that one of your highest goals is to find your life partner. My mission and commitment is to help you achieve this goal.
So, let’s get started!
· We know you are here today because you are serious about finding the love of your life
· I congratulate you for taking this critical step - you recognize you want love now and you are willing to do something about it.
· Many singles who find that love is elusive, are very successful in other areas of their lives.
· Think about why that is so….
· If you are successful in your career it is because you applied yourself to the job, you focused on it and you made choices that contributed to your success.
· Finding your life partner is no different and yet so many people think their ideal mate is going to come knocking on their door without any effort on their part.
· You’re here because you are not complacent…you understand that finding the love you want means changing old patterns and behaviors.
· So let’s get started on the 10 steps to finding your soul mate.
Step # 1: Get Ready for Love
There are 3 aspects to getting Ready – I call them the Triangle Test! Here they are:
· Identifying your Readiness Issues
· Knowing what you want, and
· Having a Positive Attitude/Being Intentional
1. Identifying your Readiness Issues
- Ask yourself: What do I want to change? What ‘baggage’ am I carrying that that will hold me back from having the relationship I truly want?
o Do you need to improve key areas of your life before you will be ready for a relationship? Perhaps it’s your financial situation, your health and fitness, or emotional or mental state - especially if you suffer from low self esteem or depression.
o Maybe you share an apartment with someone you don’t get along with and need to change your living conditions.
· Once you have identified the changes you need to make, ask yourself what is my plan for affecting change and what are the actions steps I need to take to achieve my goals?
· This phase of Step 1 is really about cleaning out what isn’t working in your life and starting with a fresh slate.
2. The 2nd part of the Triangle test is ‘Knowing what you want’
· Sometimes assessing what you DON’T want –is a good place to start. Look at previous relationships to understand what went wrong and why?
o What are your key learnings from those relationships?
- For example, if your last relationship broke up due to differing views about how to manage your finances because you are a careful money manager and your partner was a spendthrift, perhaps one of the traits you want in a future partner might be financial responsibility
o Also look at the positive elements of past relationships. This will provide additional clues to determining what you want
· Figure out your deal breakers
o Be clear on what you MUST have in a relationship including how you expect to be treated by your partner.
o What is non-negotiable? A good example is children – you can’t have half a child – this is a non negotiable requirement, so remember a deal breaker is always black or white.
o Mine your values and life vision – what are they? How clear is your vision? How do your values reflect they way you want to live your life?
o Understanding your life vision and values plays a critical role assessing compatibility with a potentialpartner.
o Know that the love of your dreams will honour, cherish, and share your values and vision. You won’t need to compromise on core values when you have the right mate.
o By the way, recent US studies indicate that 69 % of all marriages fail because the couple had different life visions – this is a crucial insight into what makes a successful partnership.
3. The third and final part of the triangle is Having a Positive Attitude and Being Intentional
· Be happy in your life and with yourself – be grateful for what you have .
· Look at life from a half full versus half empty perspective.
· Live your life as a successful single – don’t put your life on hold while you wait for your partner to show up.
· Get involved in new activities; pursue your interests. And Have Fun!!
· Believe that love can and WILL happen for you this year and make the decision to find your soul mate.
Step # 2: Acquire the Information and Support you Need
- Learn how to get what you want by the acquiring information, tools, skills & support you need to develop an effective Relationship Strategy.
- Operating under old patterns won’t work – you need to evolve new behaviors and paradigms.
- If you need help – get it. You are not on your own. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of getting help to achieve your relationship goals.
- This is the most important area of your life – do what it takes.
- You can get our personal support at www. EnterYourWebsiteUrl.com
Step # 3: Be A Magnet by Being Yourself
- It is important to accept and love yourself. Your presence in this world makes a difference.
- Understand that the love of your life will want to be with you and will love you BECAUSE you are you, NOT IN SPITE of who you are!
- So don’t pretend to be anything you are not - The more you honour yourself and are authentic, the easier it will be for your mate to find you – you will become a magnet attracting and guiding your partner to you.
- Why - Because you are exactly what your soul mate is looking for!
Step # 4: Don’t Compromise – Be the Chooser
- Assess potential mates based on how they fit WITH YOU!
- This is your life – live it fully, the way you want, with the person you want.
- Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.
- Don’t think you can CHANGE someone! You can’t,
- Don’t rush into love. Take the time to evaluate whether a potential mate meets ALL your requirements (these are the non-negotiable deal breakers)
- Get to know the person and test them against your list – Do they FIT what you want?
- As soon as a requirement is not met – get out! Recognize there is no future in that relationship and cut your losses – remember if you are unavailable because you are with the wrong person, you may miss the RIGHT one.
- You compromise and “do the work” in committed relationships, not when dating to find a partner
- If someone doesn’t choose you – don’t feel rejection. Understand that it simply means you are not a good fit and be grateful that he/she saved you from wasting time.
Step # 5: Balance your Heart with your Head
- Love and lust are heady. There are a lot of hormones swirling around in your system!
- Often logic doesn’t prevail, and that’s where we can get into trouble!
- Understand that the initial strong attraction you have to a new partner is not based on ‘real’ love, it is driven by hormones. Eventually the chemical reaction will subside to reveal whether you are truly compatible.
- While attraction is an important element in a great relationship, a truly wonderful and lasting relationship balances chemistry and compatibility.
- So take it slow and steady. Finding your soul mate isn’t a race. No matter how urgently you want to make a decision and move forward, there is really no such thing as a relationship emergency!
- Imagine thinking you’ve won the race only to realize you won the booby prize - a failed relationship. That would put you back at the starting line once again.
Step # 6: Take Risks and expand your Comfort Zone
- Don’t get stuck in pointless, unsatisfying relationships with people who are not compatible – you will only be wasting your valuable time.
- Become more approachable – smile and engage in conversation with strangers (use common sense and be safe)
- Get out of your usual comfort zone and take some risks to experience things you might not usually do. No one is successful staying in their comfort zone.
- Be open to recognizing the opportunities – say yes when you might want to say no!
- Be active in your search for a partner. Put as much effort into finding your soul mate as you would into finding your ideal job.
Step # 7: Don’t be Afraid to Say ‘NO’!
- Increase your personal power by being assertive and exercising boundaries, saying “no” to what you don’t want and taking responsibility for getting what you do want.
- This is especially true for women who have been trained to say ‘yes’ and be ‘good little girls’. Don’t put up with behaviors that you don’t like and don’t be coerced into doing anything you don’t want to do.
- I d like to share a real story. One of my clients has spent a great deal of time refining her relationship requirements and she is very clear about her deal breakers. Because she is very successful, two of her requirements for a partner are generosity of spirit and financial health.
- She met a man for a coffee date at a restaurant and once she was seatedhe pulled out a bottle of water from his backpack and advised her that she should go ahead and get something for herself.
- What do you think she did -!! Do you think she spent an hour of her valuable time getting to know this man !
- Well she didn’t…his message of cheapness was so loud and clear that she was able to sort him out! She thanked him for his time, wished him well…then she left!
- So, give yourself permission to trust your inner guidance system, even when it goes against ingrained behaviors. Your voice speaks to you for a reason – listen to it!
Step # 8: Expand your Network
- Even in today’s world of the internet, most people find their soul mate through someone they know
- Tell your family and friends that you are looking for a serious relationship and exactly what you are looking for. Don’t be shy!
- Cast your net wide – be out there pursuing your interests
- Increase your circle of friends and acquaintances
- Recognize that friends and acquaintances also know single people – maybe they know your future mate!
Step # 9: Use the 5 Power Tools
You can bring the dream of your ideal partner into reality by using these 5 powerful tools:
- The 1st is Visualization
- ‘See’ the dream. Have a crystal clear vision of the relationship you want. Keep refining and making it more real.
- The 2nd is Feeling
- ‘Feel’ the emotions – joy, happiness, contentment, safety, love, etc. Allow yourself to experience how you will feel when you have your soul mate in your life.
- What will you feel when you awaken each morning to your partner….how will you feel as you kiss goodnight?
- The 3rd is Law of Attraction
- We always attract what we think about- whether it is what we want or don't want.
- What we think about, we bring about. Bring your soul mate into your life.
- Our lives are a physical manifestation of the thoughts that go on in our heads.
- Our ‘job’ is the ‘what’ – it is not up to us to figure out the ‘how’ – that is the job of the universe. So don’t worry about how or from where your partner will come, just paint the picture, feel it and believe it will be.
- The 4th is Practice
- Practice visualization and feeling to accelerate the Law of Attraction and Set aside a specific time each day to practice
- During meditation, or when you are in bed at night and in the morning - visualize and feel those wonderful emotions of having your partner with you
- The 5th and final power tool is Faith
- Believe that you are deserving of the love you want and have faith that it will be delivered to you
- Don’t give up! Anytime you are tempted to give up, go back to yourvisualization and feelings.
Step # 10: Learn and Practice Dating Skills
- Three types of relationship skills for singles-
- Social effectiveness skills (with anyone)
- Dating skills
- Intimacy skills (being a couple)
- Learn and practice:
- Flirting skills
- Conversation Ice-Breakers
- Four steps for Conscious Dating- Scouting, Sorting, Screening, Testing
- Listening to your inner voice (not your inner critic)
- Not taking things so seriously (tomorrow really is another day)
- Being your authentic YOU
- Applying the Golden Rule – treating everyone the way you would like to be treated
- Practice does make perfect. It will give you confidence and you will feel more comfortable each time you practice a specific skill.
Those are my 10 steps for finding your soul mate We would like to thank you for participating and hope this presentation provided insights into finding the love of your life.
Note: OPTIONAL - Also, if you are serious about finding your soul mate and want to kick start the process, join our 6-week‘Conscious Dating Relationship Success Training for Singles. During this 6-week programme you will be guided through the all the steps needed to prepare for and find your life partner. For more information and to register please use the link below to book for a free strategy session with Akeh : https://akehb.acuityscheduling.com/